Saturday, May 14, 2011
The world around us is consistently changing. It experiences death but then creates life in a matter of seconds. There is constant growth and discovery and the same things never happen twice. Why, then, does it amaze me every time my own life changes? It could be because many times I don't control the change. Yet I have come to see that the greatest amazement comes from the results of my own decisions.
Friends move away, family members pass, and we go on. But the minute we decide something that ends in a way we didn't expect, all is lost. The familiarity we had is no longer- our world slowly begins to crumble and then it all collapses. There is still hope, somewhere, but we can't find it. There is air to be breathed, places to be discovered and people to meet, yet we are incapable of seeing and feeling anything outside the physical pain this one, single decision has caused.
So what do you do? Do you stop making decisions and hope the world can make them for you? Do you shut yourself out completely and close off to everyone and everything that makes this world good? Maybe you continue with the world, but you become so incredibly cynical towards anything related to this decision that you are unbearable to be around.
You cry. You scream, you yell, you throw something (preferably not at someone). You talk to yourself because "no one understands you." You listen to sad songs so that you can cry some more. You fall to your knees and pray with all your might. And then, you pick yourself up. You wonder around aimlessly for a while, but you figure it out. Maybe you write about it, or paint, sing, dance, yodel, ANYTHING.
You embrace the next opportunity you have to make a decision because not everyone in this world has the luxury of options. You chose, whatever it is your heart tells you to. And when you pick the wrong one... again... you start from the top.